Monday, October 27, 2008

Something a Little More Personal...

There is no artwork attached to this, so I totally won't be offended if you don't read it or just cruise on by it. But, if you by chance make it all the way through...thanks for listening to me ramble.

Not to be depressing, but you all know that my mom past away 4 years ago. She was born and raised in Hilo, Hawaii and upon her request, we buried her there so that she could be with her parents and 3 other generations of my grandma's (her mom's) family.

My mother, a cousin, and my grand Aunt (my grandma's sister) all past away within 6 months of each other. My grand Aunt was never married and lived in the Loo family house. We decided that we wanted all of their grave stoves to match their families...and we would use money from my Aunt's estate to do that. The family has fought over the estate this whole time, hence why its taken so long for it to actually close and get distributed. Well, 4 years later...and alot of craziness in between (my mom's crazy sister put a grave stone on my mom's plot, we had it removed, and she tried to take my grandparent's urns from my dad--you might remember all this if you followed my livejournal when I posted on there)...they have finally put my mom's grave stone in place.

Originally we thought they wouldn't place it down without one of us going there, but they have already put it in. I've been wanting to go...but figured I'd wait. Brent has never been to Hawaii and I would love to take him. Of course to do fun things as well...and do a real vacation out of it. Realistically we wouldn't be able to go soon, as we're trying to get things settle with the car, a home, and him eventually going back to school. I've been saving and planning for us to go in 2010 or maybe 2011, depending on his school schedule and what we could work out.

My dad told me that my brother wants to go...and that means he would go soon. Probably before the year is over or maybe January. I'm torn between just going with him and waiting to go later...

Not that I couldn't go twice, but for me to go now would be a huge cost...especially with Catherine's wedding coming up. But I'm happy to be MOH and the cost of that is priceless, especially since she was my MOH and did so much for me. So I'm not complaining...just being realistic about my situation. And I wouldn't compromise Catherine's wedding for anything. But then I feel like I'd regret not going with my brother...especially since I don't know what my situation will be like in the future.

I guess I should just suck it up and go...and if it works out, take Brent later. I guess I'm getting myself on yet another long air plane ride, lol...but at least I can fly Seattle to Honolulu in a straight shot! Maybe I'll have Brien drive up here from Portland and we can just fly together...since he'd most likely go Portland to San Fransisco and then to Honolulu. Though I know you can fly Portland to Honolulu too.

Its time like this that I miss having my LJ cut and mood icons...


  1. I'm so sorry your having a tough time today :0( I can't imagine what this is like to deal with, i pray everything works out for you and your family soon.

    Sending big hugs your way!

  2. Oh, Sparkle...I'm so sorry about all this drama. You know I'm going to be in Honolulu later this week...if I will be anywhere near your mom's grave I would be honored to visit it in your name (flowers and all). My mom died 10 years ago and honestly I wish I lived close enough to visit her grave on a regular basis. Please know I'm thinking of you and care! Hugs to you!

    Oh, and one more thing...go, go as soon as you can. You will never regret it!

  3. oh, my gosh...what a mess! just reading it my heart rate went up cuz i was just as frustrated as you are! i don't know what to probably ought to just go! and brent can come another time...but this sounds like something you need to do now & get done. hugs!

  4. Awwww, Big hugs!
    What drama when there should be loving and understanding. I'm so sorry! I think you really need to go with your brother. Then you and your DH can go later. It will work out. I'm sure of it! :)

  5. awwwwwwww i lost my mom 3 years ago so i understand. I would be frustrated too but my mom meant the world to me and i would go for sure!
    Good luck with whatever you decide!!

  6. Wow what a tough decision! I'm sorry your family has had to go through so much with all that drama. Do what your heart tells you. Remember that it's just money and that comes and goes, but moments and memories stay with you. Good luck with whatever you choose hun!

  7. hi Sparkle...

    I'm sorry for the drama... that stinketh, royally. I've always felt that it's "family first" in life and you gotta do what you gotta do. I think you would regret not going to your mom's grave as a family.... but that is just my opinion.

    Hope you feel some peace about whatever decision you make. Only you know what's right for you.



  8. thanks for sharing your story and hugs to you. hope it works out for you to go.

  9. Thanks for sharing a little bit about you, Sparks. I think it can be very hard at times within families. I have to say when you were talking about your relatives it sounds quite normal, although at the time of the events it feels horrible. I think it sounds likel you and your husband really have your acts together and he will want you to do what you need to do. If you plan out far enough the fair might be cheaper and you might even check with some airlines and tell them your need. You just never know what happens out of the blue. On your husband's going to back to school, don't forget grants, etc. I had a friend who put herself through undergrad and grad school on scholarships and grants that were available because of her age, etc. etc. Most just took a letter and a little essay work.

    My thoughts and energy will be with you.

  10. I am so sorry about all of the family drama. :( But I agree with Lorie (and maybe others, but hers is the only comment I read)... You need to go, and just figure out the cost later. ((hugs))


Thanks for visiting my blog! I truly appreciate you taking the time to read and comment! Love, Sparks